I was reading Jon Perr's diary "Introducing Targeted Regulation of Urologists and Male Patients (TRUMP) laws" and I got to this quote, and could not get passed it:
"Having personal experience in that field and also having one reversed I want to promise you that when ... you start talking to a doctor about them whacking on you down there, you want to wait a while and think about it. Men go through a lot more stringent process to have a vasectomy than a woman does, I would assume, on an abortion." - Volunteer State GOP Sen. Todd Gardenhire
you assume . . . you ASSUME . . . YOU ASSUME!
Last December my family went through hell despite what you and your fucking ilk assume.
Abortion isn't an airy fairy process that those who have one or preform one enter into blithely with little to no thought and no discussion! Is that YOUR assumption? (U r an ASS)
In the last 3 years members of my family have had to have abortions. They didn't want to have them, but their lives were in danger if they maintained their pregnancies.
LIFE. IN . DANGER - not that the reason for an abortion is anyone elses business besides the woman, her doctor and whom ever else SHE chooses to bring into it, but here-to-fore that reason was inviolate. NOT ANY MORE.
By virtue of a lying press and organizations, first world status, and a simple inability to connect to the fact that we have a lower maternal mortality rates because of abortion (however it is rising compared to other western countries) people don't seem to understand that pregnancy is actually a risky business. And that risk fell ON my daughter last November/December.
I wrote about her pregnancy and becoming a grandmother here at DK ( I got a call at 3am). This was a high risk pregnancy and for the entire time I worried about my daughter, it was tough on her.
. . . but I had confidence and some peace of mind that if the pregnancy went south, if my daughter's life was in danger an abortion would be preformed. She would not die from this pregnancy.
A few months after she gave birth to our (now 2 year old) granddaughter, Amelia, she had Essure contraceptive put in. It is a new form of tubal ligation that inserts coils into the Fallopian tubes to create scar tissue and close them off. Bayer says it's 99% effective.
However . . .
Many, many (thousands of women) report problems and failures. Erin Brockovich has taken up the cause, and there is even a Facebook group, Essure Problems.
The Bayer number of 99% effective puts it above the more traditional snip and tie tubal ligation birth control (which is between 90-95% effective). It is estimated that Essure is actually only around 80% effective. Bayer says it's failure is due to doctors' not putting it in correctly - but if so many doctors can't put it in correctly, doesn't that in and of itself indicate that there is a problem with it? Due to tort "reform" those affected by its failure cannot sue Bayer.
My daughter did not know any of this. She knew that it was "99%" effective and she knew any other pregnancies had a very good chance of ending her life. So she had it done, and when tested weeks later it looked like her Fallopian tubes were sealed.
Almost a year and a half later, early December 2014 I received a call. My tearful and scared daughter on the other end delivered the news that she was once again pregnant. Essure had failed.
I did what I could to console her. She didn't want the rest of the family to know, I told her it would be okay. She felt so betrayed. Here she had come to terms with the fact she would never be pregnant again. That Amelia would be her only biological child, and that she had done EVERYTHING she was suppose to do to keep this from happening again,-- she should not have to go through these emotions, etc. And here she was exactly where she should have never been.
I got off the phone and wailed - this is my daughter, the mother to my granddaughter and her life was once again on the line. I couldn't even hold it together for class the next day. She called needing reassurance and when I hung up my cell phone all I could do was sit in the hall and cry.
Because she was coming to the end of her first trimester we had only two weeks to get a chemical abortion. After that, a second trimester abortion would be different and the cost would be much higher. My husband (her stepfather) and I were more than willing to pay for it.
But in coming to terms with this and her mind so raw, she started romanticizing about trying to go through with this pregnancy. Because she and her husband did not want the family to know about it I became the one to rip the romance from her eyes and have her look at reality:
That being that she had a high chance of dying, that Amelia deserved to grow up with her mother being there, that as hard as this was, and as much as she wanted another child (and another grandchild wouldn't be bad either) THIS WAS NOT POSSIBLE.
At one point during our conversations, when I hung up the phone, I was actually sure she was taken in by the romance. But come that Monday morning she made the appointment for the abortion. Her husband took her, the clinic called me and I paid for it.
And the whole day was heavy. NO ONE was celebrating. NO ONE was high fiving. There was not a party afterward, or that weekend.
There was thought, and there was pain. It was not a lite decision. It was a necessary decision. One that we all would make again.
Most of the family now knows (those that matter) and no one is upset over the abortion, just for their not knowing so they could offer support.
The Essure issue is being resolved during these few weeks.
Don't assume you know what a woman, and if she chooses to involve her friends and family, go through, YOU DON'T.
STAY OUT - and take your restrictive abortion laws with you - 99% of the time you forced birthers (cult of the fetus) get it wrong.
